Lose Weight Fast?

Is it just me or are the "airwaves" flooded with "Lose weight fast" ads.  One ad appearing in my email, promised a 35 lbs loss in a matter of days.  Then, there is the 21 day diet which I've heard touted.  And of course, there is the nuclear option, surgery, which includes cutting up your stomach and throwing away most of it as in the gastric sleeve (nevermind that the stomach is a critical digestive organ as these medical providers DO learn in school and probably doesn't work to digest a bunch of the 100 nutrients and micronutrients we need daily --after it's cut up) or cutting off most of the stomach to make a "pouch" (isn't that cutsie)... attaching this to the bowel, bypassing the business end of the small bowel (where the rest of the nutrients are digested) and this is supposed to kill your appetite and the pounds just "drop off" ... as in the gastric bypass.  Well, after surgery when you feel like you've been hit by a train, you aren't very hungry but I know plenty of gastric bypass post ops who weigh over 300 lbs (those who LIVED that is... 1-2% of them die within 30 days of surgery - we never hear about this on TV of course).

None of this works of course, because the appetite centers are in the brain, not the stomach but everyone is looking for the quick way out.  There IS NO quick way.  As Beverly Sills, the opera singer has said "There is no quick road to a place worth going!" Even the Dr Nowzardian shows which greatly romanticize the weight loss surgeries, include a disclaimer "less than 5% are successful in keeping off the weight on the long term."

   Mild calorie restriction and counting your calories every day, will cause a weight loss and keep it off - as long as you count your calories - they have good web clients which are free, like "My Fitness Pal".

Overweight is 60% genetic, so say the experts.  And the American lifestyle consisting mostly, of fast food and high fat foods, is not only fattening us up but also clogging our blood vessels.  The hospital where my husband got 5 surgeries to unclog his major blood vessels (including the coronary arteries, 4 out of 5 which were completely blocked), has lots of folks who are aging and either missing limbs or pretty sick.  We don't see this on TV either.  My hubby has been in the hospital since Jan 2016!  As of this writing (Sept 2016) that's pretty near 8 months (he was home for the month of June)

In the early 1990's, Dr Dean Ornish who had come down with heart disease when he was 45, did a lot of research and wrote a book called "REVERSING HEART DISEASE".  In it, he detailed 10,000 patients (including himself) who had reversed heart disease eating a low fat diet (10% fat) and exercising cardio at least 30 minutes a day.  The surgeon general of the USA agreed and wrote a few papers to that effect, also.  This was mostly ignored by the public despite the evidence based research and sadly, few people heard from their medical providers that this was good advice, leaving only a handful of us, often labeled "health nuts" to believe Dr Ornish (kind of a no brainer that what he was writing was true).  

In 1994, at the age of 49, I went on the low fat diet and started exercising cardio, daily.  This made me healthy but only took off 19 lbs.

In 2008, by serendipity I discovered that mild calorie restriction not only made my GERD go away but made me lose weight.  I ended up losing 110 lbs and keeping 107 lbs off, ever since.  And yes, I count my calories daily and I still exercise cardio 6 days a week.

And I, despite heart disease running in my family, and despite my getting pretty close to my 72nd birthday, am NOT in the hospital getting my arteries unclogged, .

Don't have the time to read Ornish's book?  Here's a 3 minute video giving the Reader's Digest version - by Dr Ornish himself, still going strong, unlike his Dad who died at the age of 49. 

Photo is of myself and hubby just before all the surgeries and what hubby looked like when he came back from getting a quadruple coronary bypass.  Hubby is finally realizing that exercise should be a part of his life and exercising on his own (walking his wheelchair down the halls of the hospital).  Photos of him are reprinted by permission.  A word to the wise should be sufficient.  "Who does not study history, is doomed to repeat it!"  

Monthly Weigh In

So with the WW website community going away, I guess I fire up this blog.

Today was my monthly Weigh In and meeting. I basically stayed the same which is a good thing since I'm significantly below goal.  And I enjoyed the meeting as usual. Always enjoy chatting and sharing with other members and enjoy what our leader shares also. I never weigh at home or seldom, and just weigh at the meeting.

We had a lively group at the meeting and I always learn new things there, which is fun.

I look forward to my monthly meeting! And now to watch the Olympics! :)

Jan 2016 update

(My favorite game of late - CrazyKitchen!) :)

Weight Watchers has a new program called "Beyond the Scale" and I approached with trepidation, after all, it's very new and different from the "Points Plus" program I've been following for years.  But after I'd read the new material and studied it, I realized it's the best program yet, because it warns you about unhealthy foods by assigning them high points value and steers you toward healthy foods by assigning lower points values, and also because it's the only program that I know of, which incorporates fitness right into the program as an integral part.  That's something near and dear to my heart because I feel regular exercise is pretty close to being a lifesaver.  They have an "app" for iPhones and the like which helps members work fitness into their daily lives!  So after really studying the materials carefully, I decided to embrace the new program and I _totally_ love it!  As for foods, you can still choose anything you want but now you can, before you eat, know exactly what you are getting.  I've stayed away from fast food and food high in saturated fats because of a 2 year research I did on the subject which included things like studies, testing the blood after eating foods high in saturated fats and seeing fatty deposits in the blood etc.  Since fast food is a big seller, this is underplayed on TV but Weight Watchers hopes to protect members from falling into the fast food jungle.  (Fast food is very high in calories also - I notice that most of the very overweight folks on the TLC TV show "My 600 lb life" ate lots of fast food.  That's not the only reason they got so large - Obesity scientist, Rudy Leibel states that obesity is at least 60 % genetic/physical (metabolic etc).

Bottom line, I'm very happy with the new program and I don't know if I've lost any weight because I weigh once a month at my Weight Watchers meeting, but I'm on maintenance anyway and several members who have weighed in, said they not only, saw nice losses but feel better than they have felt in a long time because of eating more healthy foods.  I've been maintaining my weight, several lbs below goal now, since March 2010.

PS: when they talk about eating for stress etc, I know about that - had to find new mechanisms for handling stress - it's not easy but can be done.

PPS: (referring to the graphic above) I only chase donuts in computer games - I pass by them in real life! :) :)

Injury - update August - Sept 2015

Me with youngest DGD who had her 18th BD in July

So I got a bit too exuberant in walking. Went with DGD to see youngest DGD and oldest DGD at the store where they work (so for one thing, could give youngest DGD - she was 18 this Birthday - her card and gift. They got DH a scooter but couldn't easily find another one for me so I walked in the store.  That night, I woke up at 11 PM to cook veggies and moved my left leg a bit to the side, felt a "pop" and horrible pain.  DS said it was a muscle strain but it might have been a ligament issue also as I've had a similar injury before - had a mini stroke in 2008 (I'm almost 71 now!) and it took some nerves or whatever out of the left leg - right after the stroke, I was off my feet too.  Anyway, after this injury couldn't walk at all and had to use a scooter around the house.  I believe I've said I'd fought depression because went from being a princess (DH spoiled me) to being a Cinderella (after DH's 3rd stroke when I became caregiver).  Well, what I learned from this injury is there are worse things than being a caregiver, like being a caregiver confined to a scooter.  Doing everything I ordinarily did, became difficult.  And that lasted several weeks. Injury happened Sept 6 and I'm just getting back on my feet now - beginning of October but still wearing my soft brace. (Maybe I should have been wearing it all along?)  Have been a bit depressed (my e-bike is down for the count - the shop lost their mechanic and I need a new front wheel - the bearings are gone on the front wheel on the bike now).  But in the last week I've been able to ride further on my pedal bicycle and that was a thrill. Yesterday DH lent me his e-bike and I rode to an errand and enjoyed it!  And am doing my cooking and cleaning on my feet.

  Most of all, I've learned to be grateful for what I have instead of mourning what I no longer have and ironically, have in the last week or so, been happier than I'd been since Feb 2014 when DH had the third stroke.  It's been good for DH also - since I couldn't wait on him as much with the injury, he's been walking better (because doing more of it).  I think God hit us both with a brick and sometimes those bricks hurt but we end up better for it.

My weight has been staying around 160.  That seems to be where my body likes to be. I got a bravo from our WW leader this AM for "getting" maintenance.  I'm 20 lbs below my doctor set goal so that gives  me some breathing room.  That's it for the update - for now (August was a hard month because we had a power outage for 5.5 hours and also I had two molars break off - crowned teeth, they required surgical extractions.  So not fun!)   Onward and upward! :)

July 2015 update

I still ride my bicycle a lot albeit also ride an electric bicycle :)

As usual at this time of year, we are watching the Tour de France.  DH either has gotten more return or I've gotten used to the "new him" - probably more of the latter - I help him dress and we have made other changes which work better (he can do some stuff but needs supervision).  We ended up getting a new car and I am shocked to experience where technology has progressed since we got our other car in 2007.  This one has a push button start (no ignition key - I carry a "FOB"), automatic "climate control" and wonderful shocks --- unlike our other car which wasn't really bad but the front end of it disconnected and when I went to the dealership to get it fixed because last time that happened, our mechanic said we needed to go to the dealership.  But at the dealer, a car salesman swooped down upon me and talked us (well me) into a new car. Actually he just let me drive it and I was hooked.  So now we have "car payments" again.  ** sigh **  Sometimes life feels a bit unreal to me - I still miss the strong protective man, DH was - now he's just different... like getting used to a new guy.  He's nice but different and I am left with making the big decisions (like the new car) on my own - I've never done this in my life and it feels very different and uncomfortable. DH kind of, is not all there - quiet and often sits - he still eats normally though... Through all of this, I have kept all of my weight off though - actually losing slowly like one lb a month (I am told I am in the 5% who can keep over 100 lbs off for several years).  Truly I do not have the appetite I used to have, probably due to the big changes in my life (some of which are a bit scary).  But I know if I didn't make good food choices, I could be back where I was in 2008.  Weighing in at my monthly Weight Watchers meeting, is definitely helping me to remember to stay "on program". I do suffer depression quite often but try to deal with that through exercise and prayer.  Depression because losing my lifetime companion in a sense is hard - especially as the years between his retirement in 2010 and his 3rd stroke in Feb 2014, were some of the best in our marriage.

January 2015

Happy New Year!  It's been a while since I've updated - DH has gotten back more return - it's slow but the improvements are exciting.  I got an electric bicycle and we ride all over the place on those.

I've kept my weight at an even keel, 17 lbs below goal! I'm still working out daily.  I got a skimpy little workout outfit for Christmas and I love it wearing it!  I've been below my Weight Watchers goal since March 2010.  And yes, I do count my points plus every day!  Now the Weight Watchers mobile site is pretty awesome so I can conveniently count my points plus on my iPhone and iPad...

While I don't look like a model (who ever heard of a 70 year old model anyway...lol), I don't look bad!  Here I am in my new workout outfit!

Things are looking up

DH is getting some return in cognition but it's slow.  He works - does an online puzzle every day and still does his 30 minutes on the stationary bicycle.  I lost some weight when he initially had his stroke and have been losing about a lb a month but think I'm leveling out now at 15 lbs below my WW goal weight.  I know I'm more active than before because I do all the cooking now and DH can no longer safely drive (although he still does ride his electric bicycle.  At the age of 70, my bicycle speed is comfortable at 5 MPH which is average for my age. (although I remember being in my 50's and questioning the "slow speed" of senior riders).  We are watching and enjoying the Tour de France at present. Yesterday DH did the online puzzle in 20 minutes which is half the time that he took a few months back so progress is happening.  I'm getting used to the "new life" where I am alone often as DH doesn't chat the way he used to before stroke 3. (has some trouble enunciating words)  photo: like this church, we are rebuilding DH's cognition...

update 2014

Sorry haven't updated for a while.  DH had another stroke a month ago and lost a good part of his thinking ability.  Cannot drive etc etc.  It's been hard because we were such close companions and it's like a large part of him is no longer there.  I lost my appetite and that's helped me in weight loss (lost 7 lbs at last weigh-in) but not a great way to lose weight.  Also I'm fighting depression and there is sort of no one to talk to.  I try to remind myself that I was lucky I had such a nice companion for 47 years but somehow that doesn't ease the pain I'm feeling now, much because I miss that companionship a lot.

I guess what gets to me is that all was great until he decided he wanted to ride his pedal bicycle again (instead of his electric bicycle) after not riding the pedal bike for several years. He worked hard and heart pains did not deter him.  Finally, after a few days of this, he had a stroke right after a lengthy bicycle ride seemingly

from the over extended effort.  I wish I had stopped him now.  Too soon old, too late smart. The photo is of him on that long bicycle ride just before his third stroke.  He literally brought the bicycle in, sat down in his chair and had a stroke.

Anyway, sorry this is kind of a sad blog.  Hopefully will feel more upbeat next time I write.  Last weigh-in, I was 15 lbs below goal.  Easy to be below goal when one doesn't feel like eating.  Not good though...

Weigh in day and update!

What better day to write than weigh in day? :)  I weigh in once a month - still going for free to meetings (well below goal) however I did gain a lb - recently though, I made a change in my program so I might see a loss next month.

My Leader is a great lady and I always enjoy her meetings.  I look forward to my monthly WW meeting although most of the folks I knew from when I first joined for the 4th time in 2008, no longer come. I guess if I went weekly, I'd get to know some of the new folks.  I hang out a lot on the WW website - they have a great online community there so lots of support and long term friendships available!

I visited the blog of a lady who were very gung ho on WW - she lost a lot of weight - she had a website all about it.  But lately she's gained back.  The other three times when I start gaining back, I'd say "all for lost anyway" and that was the end of things but this time, I'm keeping on tracking and working at it.  Did my first three times on program finally teach me so ways to deal with "stuff"? I hope so.  Many learn it before the second time but I'm a slow learner because this is my fourth time on program! :)

Sue - has she regained?

So you are probably wondering (if anyone reads this?) whether since my last post here was in late 2010, if I have regained (like I did after every other attempt at weight loss I've tried).

And the answer is no.  I have actually stayed around 157 lbs (a loss of 110 lbs) since March 2010.

I do track every day.  I also exercise daily - not for weight loss - that never took weight off me but for health!  Slowly getting a new wardrobe.  (someone should nominate me for TLC's "What Not to Wear" (*LOL*).

I love being this size.  If you have followed my journey, you know that I initially began this to get rid of GERD which has been nicely in remission since 2008, Feb, my first day OP (that's Weight Watcher talk for "On Program") but I have to say, having all this weight off has reduced my joint pain drastically!!!  I can move around a lot better.  I fit in every chair I've tried to sit in.  No more do I worry in going out whether my butt will fit.  The down side is I lost some friends along with the weight although I have never really mentioned it.  They were all waiting for me to regain (as a few told me!) and annoyed some family members.  But I do enjoy being where I'm at.

Frankly, if I knew that being this weight (which, I've been only very briefly in 1973) would feel so nice, I might have done this much sooner.  It's so work keeping it off but I find it's really true that "nothing tastes as good as thin feels" and that the Weight Watchers program really works!  Photo was me fooling with my iPhone - I'm in my biking outfit - taken in May 2012!

size huh?

Just a quickie update! Today I got a lovely outfit from my son and DIL but the pants were in size 8. I have never in my life worn a single digit size before. With trepidation I tried them on and ..... (drum roll please...) they fit perfectly!!!! I saved one of labels which was marked size 8 (like people save their first dollar for their businesses etc!) And I took a photo of it (attached photo). Way cool!!!

update - 2010 is almost over

Well, unbelievable as it is, I have actually stayed at 27 lbs below goal now, since March and celebrated my year's anniversary of lifetime membership in Weight Watchers in Oct (and this Saturday is my monthly weigh-in).

I still haven't gotten new clothing and really need to do that - I did get a couple of new pairs of shorts and pants from Sports Authority which is a bit less annoying to shop at than the clothing stores. I've decided I need to ask my DIL to help me with shopping because being a computer software developer and such, I'm definitely the type who would wear my "army boots to work because you never know what you will encounter in the computer room." (from the joke, THE REAL PROGRAMMER). Luckily my DIL who is an artist herself, is not only talented at putting together clothing but also seems to be able to find the best bargains.

Anyway, be that as it may, this is the first time I have stayed at an ideal weight this long in my adult life (and probably before that).

I still journal daily and watch my portions. Weight Watchers is not a diet but a lifestyle. And feel lucky that I've been able to keep the weight off, so far. (still exercising also, of course).

Stay tuned! :)

7th monthly weigh-in

I haven't written for a while - life has been sort of busy. But I have been losing slowly. In March I got my 100 lbs lost award (this is a sort of a washer thing in gold - not real gold.. *LOL* with 100 lbs on it) in March 2010. I got to get up before the class, show a before and after shot etc. This last monthly weigh-in my my 7th monthly weigh-in - I'd lost another 1.4 lbs bringing the "off" total to 105 lbs! And 14 lbs heavier than what I weighed on my wedding day. I can sort of get into my wedding dress but have developed a more muscular upper body from the years of working out and weight training so it would be tight on top. Kind of a thrill. A friend got some size 12 jeans for me at the GoodWill and they are getting too loose but I got a smaller pair that will work - same size but very tight cut like women like to wear them today. I also have a pair of black pants which fit and between these two, that's mostly what I wear. The clothing issue gets to be a pain after a while especially if you are like me and hate to go clothing shopping. Generally speaking though, I feel the difference of the weight off mostly in my joints - I've been able to cut down arthritis pain meds to very little and can move around much easier than I could even as a fit and fat person.

3rd month lifetime weigh in

Got a "good job" comment from the leader on my 3rd monthly lifetime weigh-in. It's nice to be weighing once a month. My lifetime manual says when we go to lifetime membership, we go from member to "role model". Imagine ME a role model for weight maintenance! Wow! Wonders will never cease. :)

On a not so good note, my favorite leader is no longer with WW and I miss her a lot.

I've come a long way, baby! (from an old cigarette commercial)

Shopping woes

After several shopping trips, I finally found out what size I am and could actually buy some clothing. Also, my savy DIL bought me some nice clothing, all of which fits and looks nice.

What was kind of strange is looking at a pair of size medium pants and thinking my butt will NEVER fit in these and then, trying them on and seeing that they fit great and feel comfy...

During one frustrating shopping trip, I went into Lane Bryant's, my former favorite store where I could REALLY "buy clothing off the shelf" and where the sizing is fairly predictable and the clothing is nice with a good variety of choices. The lady looked at me and asked "for whom are you buying clothing?" I answered, "Me" and she laughed and said "You're too skinny for THIS STORE - we don't have anything to fit you!"

Bottom line, "buying off the shelves" when you are average sized is a myth...

Amazing. I'm still getting used to this.

Second monthly weigh-in for WW lifetime membership

This last Saturday was my second monthly weigh-in for Weight Watchers' lifetime membership and I was 7 lbs below goal... wooo hooo....

I got the official lifetime membership guide and it says our part in the meeting changes from member to either leader, receptionist or "role model".

Imagine me, a role model... wow... who-da thunk it?

Lifetime membership is so worth it! :)

Size 14 jeans? NO WAY!!!

I talked to another person who lost a lot of weight (but not as much as I have). He lost 45 or 50 lbs in 3 months. "It felt weird," he said.

I've lost 92 lbs and it feels VERY strange because I've never lost this much weight before in my life.

I look at photos and my first reaction is "someone narrowed the photo to make me look slimmer and it doesn't look right.". But no one narrowed anything except my body.

Then, there is the clothing problem. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING fits me. Well, I did find one warm suit which fits - I apparently had gotten it small because I needed it and that was the only size available. In the very low 200's I could wear it snugly (which worked for the playing job outside on New Year's Eve I had where I had to wear blacks, many years ago). Now I can wear it comfortably so that's great for bicycle riding in the cold.

I have no idea what size I take and my favorite store of several decades has nothing for me (Lane Bryant's).

We ventured out on Black Friday and came home with one package of undies. They do fit but then I thought they HAVE to be too tight and went out Sunday to buy larger ones only to find the smaller ones DO fit. Oh well, one size larger is going to be a lot better than 3 sizes too large which most of my "small" undies were.

I looked for jeans on Black Friday and found - none. Most of them were hip huggers. Yeah right, I'm 65 years old and I'm NOT going to wear hip huggers. Forget it.

Last time I tried on a pair of jeans, they were size 18 and I was thrilled to get into those because I hadn't been able to get into them for years and when I DID wear them, they grew tight quickly. Of course, I had had to put them away months ago because they were so loose they looked bad and even WITH elastic waist, were falling off me. And it's not so long ago, that my size 20 jeans were too small. I remembered how thrilled I was to get into those even though they were a bit tight.

Yesterday we were out again in a different store and hubby asked if I wanted to look for jeans. I wasn't super enthusiastic but at last, acquiesced. I found one pair which was nice looking, NOT hip hugging and something I'd wear. Problem was it was a size 14. I remembered being on the low fat diet in the 1990's and getting down to the low 200's and taking a 14 in some regular clothing and proudly, buying a pair of size 14 jeans.

I couldn't even get my lower legs into them let alone my butt.

That memory haunted me as I moved fearfully toward the fitting room.

Oh yes, another "fun thing" not- is the fitting room. The harsh lights reveal EVERYTHING you have. Fitting rooms had not been a part of my life since my jaunts to Lanes because sizing there is very predictable - you can buy off the shelf.

I removed the baggy pants I was wearing (are spandex but of course, have been baggy for quite a while - were skin tight when I was larger). As I climbed into the size 14's, I said "no way... this is ridiculous". And by the way I had finished saying that, I had easily, zipped them up.

HUH? They FIT? But this cannot be... size 14 in JEANS? EVEN if a 14 now is about the size of a 16 in the 1970's, mostly even in slimmer days, 16's were too tight on me. I walked out of the fitting room and everyone's like "those look good on you". I went back into the fitting room and thought "I betcha I can't sit in them." But I could and they fit snug but they are supposed to be a snug fit... I COULD sit in them. I sat there for several minutes not really knowing what to do... I couldn't BUY THEM... they couldn't be fitting me...

I ended up taking them home with me.

Still somewhat traumatized. I had hubby take my photo in the jeans (the photo with this blog) and looked at the photo and my first reaction was "that's not me!"

Looking at the ladies at the desk watching the fitting rooms for support, I told them I'd lost 92 lbs and felt strange. They were like "that's wonderful" and "you should be proud of what you did!" Few understand how strange it feels when you've been a certain size most of your life. I didn't lose this weight fast but it caught up to me and seems that suddenly, I have a new body... one which is still elderly and arthritic, but just unfamiliar.

If those around me are not too happy for me LOSING the weight, they are REALLY not happy when my enthusiasm wanes. I'm supposed to be dancing around like they do in the commercials on TV. Well, sorry but TV is NOT reality.

I realize the two times previously, in my life I got very slim, I didn't like my body either... it was too strange. I wasn't used to things like bones sticking out. My backbone sticks out now at least in my neck. I've felt that several times and it feels wrong somehow...

No one tells you that it's going to be something to get used to. It's supposed to be all good. But a change even FOR the better is hard especially at my age.

I do find that Weight Watchers meetings ARE supportive of this type of thing so they must have seen it before in lifetime members.

I still have a way to go. As I realize I RAN BACK TO the comfortable, familiar FAT other times in my life, THIS time, my program is for health, not looks, so going back isn't an option. I will eventually get used to the new me. I hope. :)

life on the other side of the mountain

I had my first weigh-in for lifetime membership two weeks ago (first week in November) and weighed in at 5 lbs below goal. My leader smiled and said this often happens when the pressure is off for achieving lifetime membership.

Now, the harder job seems to be getting used to "things".

I have lost 90 lbs from my all time high but am down 60 lbs from the weight I've been most of the last 35 years!

The last time I was at THIS weight was in 1974.

And I find there are several issues to deal with. My new size has made some things nicer and I generally like the look way better but...

First, I find that I have not much which fits me in my collection of clothing which I have amassed over the last 20 years. And what does fit is very loose on me. This was brought to my attention the other day when my doctor teased me about my baggy spandex bicycle pants. The problem is that I've been basically between 2 or 3 sizes most of my adult life and so wearing stretch clothing covered a lot of evils. Now I am faced with buying a whole new wardrobe and truly speaking, I haven't a clue just how to do this! My doctor suggested buying on line which sounds viable but then it's sight unseen type of thing.

I sure miss "UNITS" - this was a store of "one size fits all" and I loved it. Getting a new wardrobe of "Units" would be easy... you just pick the color and go for it.

To make things much more confusing, what was a size 16 when I was last this size, seems to be now, a size 10/12! But then, the sizes are very inconsistant and can vary from garment to garment. Women's clothing shopping seems more of a nightmare than it was years ago. I remember sewing most of my own clothing because of extreme frustration with clothing shopping but although I have a sewing machine, it's been "buried" in stuff for years and I cannot find room to put it where I could use it even if I un-buried it.

Frankly the idea of replacing my wardrobe, frightens the heck out of me.

Second problem - I seem to be fighting "ghosts" which I fought in the 1970's which are a bit harder to fight now because they are very buried in my subconscious. "Protective layer of fat"? Maybe there is some truth to that one. It's almost as if I've lost my bearings a bit (the disability from my stroke doesn't help things).

You know, I have loose skin all over my body. Not just my middle (which isn't so bad since I do ab exercises and yoga and have exercised daily for the last 15 years) but places you wouldn't expect it like my lower arms - it just hangs there. (MY upper arms are definitely "bye bye" arms but we won't go there). :) I have loose skin on my thighs - just all over. But this is the least of my problems although adds to this strange new feeling I get in my own skin. I understand that plastic surgery can help there some but it's very expensive, not all that safe (under anesthesia for many hours doesn't seem a good idea for looks) and from the befores and afters I've seen on TV, doesn't necessarily look that much better than dealing with the loose skin, especially in my case where it isn't super obnoxious.

Bottom line, I have to admit to myself that I have a sort of new body - I haven't gotten rid of the arthritis (old age type) nor the damage from a mini stroke I had last year but it's new for me and I guess it will take time to get used to it. I certainly do NOT want to get fat again especially as the last time I gained a bunch of weight (after the 3rd attempt at Weight Watchers in 2003-2004), I appeared to be not leveling out even though was not eating that much... I wasn't journaling daily but journaled some and averaged from 2000 - 2200 calories a day with no fast food, junk food, soda etc. and was rapidly approaching the weight of 300 lbs!

Would it be easier if my "new body" were 20 years old and size 0? Probably not as I realize a change, even one for the better, is still a change and something to get used to.

But it will take time. I just have to be patient and endure... this too will pass..

Lifetime membership!

Yes it's true... weighing in at 3 lbs below goal, I hit lifetime membership this week! finally there!!!!

I DID hit goal!!!

After umpteen years of trying, I actually hit goal two weeks ago and are in the 6 weeks of maintenance which lead up to --- LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP! I got the little star which is hanging in a prominent place in my home and the greatest feeling!

Last week when I weighed in, my leader asked how my week was and I told her I'd been on a cloud all week.

It STILL feels good! :)