Monday, December 28, 2009

Shopping woes

After several shopping trips, I finally found out what size I am and could actually buy some clothing. Also, my savy DIL bought me some nice clothing, all of which fits and looks nice.

What was kind of strange is looking at a pair of size medium pants and thinking my butt will NEVER fit in these and then, trying them on and seeing that they fit great and feel comfy...

During one frustrating shopping trip, I went into Lane Bryant's, my former favorite store where I could REALLY "buy clothing off the shelf" and where the sizing is fairly predictable and the clothing is nice with a good variety of choices. The lady looked at me and asked "for whom are you buying clothing?" I answered, "Me" and she laughed and said "You're too skinny for THIS STORE - we don't have anything to fit you!"

Bottom line, "buying off the shelves" when you are average sized is a myth...

Amazing. I'm still getting used to this.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Second monthly weigh-in for WW lifetime membership

This last Saturday was my second monthly weigh-in for Weight Watchers' lifetime membership and I was 7 lbs below goal... wooo hooo....

I got the official lifetime membership guide and it says our part in the meeting changes from member to either leader, receptionist or "role model".

Imagine me, a role model... wow... who-da thunk it?

Lifetime membership is so worth it! :)

Monday, November 30, 2009

Size 14 jeans? NO WAY!!!

I talked to another person who lost a lot of weight (but not as much as I have). He lost 45 or 50 lbs in 3 months. "It felt weird," he said.

I've lost 92 lbs and it feels VERY strange because I've never lost this much weight before in my life.

I look at photos and my first reaction is "someone narrowed the photo to make me look slimmer and it doesn't look right.". But no one narrowed anything except my body.

Then, there is the clothing problem. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING fits me. Well, I did find one warm suit which fits - I apparently had gotten it small because I needed it and that was the only size available. In the very low 200's I could wear it snugly (which worked for the playing job outside on New Year's Eve I had where I had to wear blacks, many years ago). Now I can wear it comfortably so that's great for bicycle riding in the cold.

I have no idea what size I take and my favorite store of several decades has nothing for me (Lane Bryant's).

We ventured out on Black Friday and came home with one package of undies. They do fit but then I thought they HAVE to be too tight and went out Sunday to buy larger ones only to find the smaller ones DO fit. Oh well, one size larger is going to be a lot better than 3 sizes too large which most of my "small" undies were.

I looked for jeans on Black Friday and found - none. Most of them were hip huggers. Yeah right, I'm 65 years old and I'm NOT going to wear hip huggers. Forget it.

Last time I tried on a pair of jeans, they were size 18 and I was thrilled to get into those because I hadn't been able to get into them for years and when I DID wear them, they grew tight quickly. Of course, I had had to put them away months ago because they were so loose they looked bad and even WITH elastic waist, were falling off me. And it's not so long ago, that my size 20 jeans were too small. I remembered how thrilled I was to get into those even though they were a bit tight.

Yesterday we were out again in a different store and hubby asked if I wanted to look for jeans. I wasn't super enthusiastic but at last, acquiesced. I found one pair which was nice looking, NOT hip hugging and something I'd wear. Problem was it was a size 14. I remembered being on the low fat diet in the 1990's and getting down to the low 200's and taking a 14 in some regular clothing and proudly, buying a pair of size 14 jeans.

I couldn't even get my lower legs into them let alone my butt.

That memory haunted me as I moved fearfully toward the fitting room.

Oh yes, another "fun thing" not- is the fitting room. The harsh lights reveal EVERYTHING you have. Fitting rooms had not been a part of my life since my jaunts to Lanes because sizing there is very predictable - you can buy off the shelf.

I removed the baggy pants I was wearing (are spandex but of course, have been baggy for quite a while - were skin tight when I was larger). As I climbed into the size 14's, I said "no way... this is ridiculous". And by the way I had finished saying that, I had easily, zipped them up.

HUH? They FIT? But this cannot be... size 14 in JEANS? EVEN if a 14 now is about the size of a 16 in the 1970's, mostly even in slimmer days, 16's were too tight on me. I walked out of the fitting room and everyone's like "those look good on you". I went back into the fitting room and thought "I betcha I can't sit in them." But I could and they fit snug but they are supposed to be a snug fit... I COULD sit in them. I sat there for several minutes not really knowing what to do... I couldn't BUY THEM... they couldn't be fitting me...

I ended up taking them home with me.

Still somewhat traumatized. I had hubby take my photo in the jeans (the photo with this blog) and looked at the photo and my first reaction was "that's not me!"

Looking at the ladies at the desk watching the fitting rooms for support, I told them I'd lost 92 lbs and felt strange. They were like "that's wonderful" and "you should be proud of what you did!" Few understand how strange it feels when you've been a certain size most of your life. I didn't lose this weight fast but it caught up to me and seems that suddenly, I have a new body... one which is still elderly and arthritic, but just unfamiliar.

If those around me are not too happy for me LOSING the weight, they are REALLY not happy when my enthusiasm wanes. I'm supposed to be dancing around like they do in the commercials on TV. Well, sorry but TV is NOT reality.

I realize the two times previously, in my life I got very slim, I didn't like my body either... it was too strange. I wasn't used to things like bones sticking out. My backbone sticks out now at least in my neck. I've felt that several times and it feels wrong somehow...

No one tells you that it's going to be something to get used to. It's supposed to be all good. But a change even FOR the better is hard especially at my age.

I do find that Weight Watchers meetings ARE supportive of this type of thing so they must have seen it before in lifetime members.

I still have a way to go. As I realize I RAN BACK TO the comfortable, familiar FAT other times in my life, THIS time, my program is for health, not looks, so going back isn't an option. I will eventually get used to the new me. I hope. :)

Monday, November 16, 2009

life on the other side of the mountain

I had my first weigh-in for lifetime membership two weeks ago (first week in November) and weighed in at 5 lbs below goal. My leader smiled and said this often happens when the pressure is off for achieving lifetime membership.

Now, the harder job seems to be getting used to "things".

I have lost 90 lbs from my all time high but am down 60 lbs from the weight I've been most of the last 35 years!

The last time I was at THIS weight was in 1974.

And I find there are several issues to deal with. My new size has made some things nicer and I generally like the look way better but...

First, I find that I have not much which fits me in my collection of clothing which I have amassed over the last 20 years. And what does fit is very loose on me. This was brought to my attention the other day when my doctor teased me about my baggy spandex bicycle pants. The problem is that I've been basically between 2 or 3 sizes most of my adult life and so wearing stretch clothing covered a lot of evils. Now I am faced with buying a whole new wardrobe and truly speaking, I haven't a clue just how to do this! My doctor suggested buying on line which sounds viable but then it's sight unseen type of thing.

I sure miss "UNITS" - this was a store of "one size fits all" and I loved it. Getting a new wardrobe of "Units" would be easy... you just pick the color and go for it.

To make things much more confusing, what was a size 16 when I was last this size, seems to be now, a size 10/12! But then, the sizes are very inconsistant and can vary from garment to garment. Women's clothing shopping seems more of a nightmare than it was years ago. I remember sewing most of my own clothing because of extreme frustration with clothing shopping but although I have a sewing machine, it's been "buried" in stuff for years and I cannot find room to put it where I could use it even if I un-buried it.

Frankly the idea of replacing my wardrobe, frightens the heck out of me.

Second problem - I seem to be fighting "ghosts" which I fought in the 1970's which are a bit harder to fight now because they are very buried in my subconscious. "Protective layer of fat"? Maybe there is some truth to that one. It's almost as if I've lost my bearings a bit (the disability from my stroke doesn't help things).

You know, I have loose skin all over my body. Not just my middle (which isn't so bad since I do ab exercises and yoga and have exercised daily for the last 15 years) but places you wouldn't expect it like my lower arms - it just hangs there. (MY upper arms are definitely "bye bye" arms but we won't go there). :) I have loose skin on my thighs - just all over. But this is the least of my problems although adds to this strange new feeling I get in my own skin. I understand that plastic surgery can help there some but it's very expensive, not all that safe (under anesthesia for many hours doesn't seem a good idea for looks) and from the befores and afters I've seen on TV, doesn't necessarily look that much better than dealing with the loose skin, especially in my case where it isn't super obnoxious.

Bottom line, I have to admit to myself that I have a sort of new body - I haven't gotten rid of the arthritis (old age type) nor the damage from a mini stroke I had last year but it's new for me and I guess it will take time to get used to it. I certainly do NOT want to get fat again especially as the last time I gained a bunch of weight (after the 3rd attempt at Weight Watchers in 2003-2004), I appeared to be not leveling out even though was not eating that much... I wasn't journaling daily but journaled some and averaged from 2000 - 2200 calories a day with no fast food, junk food, soda etc. and was rapidly approaching the weight of 300 lbs!

Would it be easier if my "new body" were 20 years old and size 0? Probably not as I realize a change, even one for the better, is still a change and something to get used to.

But it will take time. I just have to be patient and endure... this too will pass..

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Lifetime membership!

Yes it's true... weighing in at 3 lbs below goal, I hit lifetime membership this week! finally there!!!!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

I DID hit goal!!!

After umpteen years of trying, I actually hit goal two weeks ago and are in the 6 weeks of maintenance which lead up to --- LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP! I got the little star which is hanging in a prominent place in my home and the greatest feeling!

Last week when I weighed in, my leader asked how my week was and I told her I'd been on a cloud all week.

It STILL feels good! :)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Hit goal?

Well, I actually hit goal or 1/2 lb over last week but I think it was an anomaly. People seem to think I'll hit it this week but knowing my body, it will be up again...that's how things work with me. One of these weeks though...

Monday, August 17, 2009

lots of news to report

My husband and I are both attending classes now (Weight Watchers). I was doing the WW on line but find it's really nice to attend the classes and I kind of look forward to my class on Saturday.

And since I've been going to classes (4 weeks) I've lost THREE pounds and am 2.2 lbs from my WW goal and lifetime membership! yeee hooo

My hubby's sugar levels are way down after being close to 300 on the highest dose of diabetes oral medication he can take! (he's been on program for 4 weeks and lost 13 lbs!)

He's a happy camper because the doctor was close to putting him on insulin. We both are breathing a sigh of relief on this one.

My weigh in this last week was 182.2 lbs! The doctor was impressed that I've lost 10 lbs since I last saw her!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Losing slowly now

Decided to start going to Weight Watchers meetings. I've always wanted lifetime membership. You have to lose at least 5 lbs and I weighed in at 186! (Doctor set goal is 180). So it's in sight. My leader said "well, let's see if we can get you to lifetime membership!" That sounded good to me! :)

I have about 1 pair of undies which fit me so I guess it's time to buy some new clothing. (my "small clothing" is too large for me because I have not been this size in about 34 years!)

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Some NSV's

An NSV is a non scale victory. (The scale has been kind to me also - I am at 190 this week!)

  • got into a shirt I used to wear to play square dances --- 30 years ago!!! I never thought I would get into it again!

  • Sat down easily into a couple of small chairs with arms and I had room to spare!

  • Made a "fat joke" about me which fell flat and one person said 'you're not fat!'

  • Lots of folks have been noticing the weight loss

  • Can do a yoga move that I haven't been able to do for years!

Life is good!

Here's a before/after photo. The "before" was taken in 2007 - the after was taken a week or so ago.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Still losing...

Was officially 192 at the doctor's. With normal blood pressure! :) Sorry I haven't updated this in a while but I'm still on my program. I also had the stomach flu a couple of weeks ago (it's going around).

Hope all is going well for you'all...

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Have been 198 all week!!!

Wow does it EVER feel good to be in ONE-DER-LAND!

I never thought I'd make it. I just FEEL good about it all! :)

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


So a couple of times in the past two weeks, I actually hit the magical land of ONE-DER-LAND i.e. under 200 lbs! I took a photo of the scale the first time it happened (which turned out to be no easy task because the darn thing kept timing out before I could get my camera ready so I had to weigh 3 times to get the picture! *LOL*)

However, my official weigh-in this week was 201.5 so my body is playing games with me. I like the feeling of "one der land" and hope I get down to the point where I never see 200 lbs.

I measured and found that I have lost 8 inches in my butt and 7 inches in my waist (well not being a young thing, my waistline went the way of the nickle beer).

Nothing fits me, not even my undie panties and I don't have a clue what size I am. I haven't been this small forever... (at least 25 or more years). I now weigh 8 lbs more than I did when I had our son in 1969 (of course, I thought I was horribly fat then because I started in the pregnancy at 149 or 150 lbs... my low weight is 198.5.

In looking at some summer photos, I realize that last summer I weighed like in the low 240's or high 230's so this summer might be fun as far as skimpier clothing etc. Right now, it's warm clothing cover up time... :(

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

down and STUCK

I'm down to 203 (that's 64 lbs lost) and STUCK. The old plateau. Well, I knew it had to happen and I really am pretty happy at this weight so will hang in there... :)

Thursday, January 1, 2009

63 lbs down

Weight this week was 204. 63 lbs down and 24 from my doctor set goal.

This week, with hubby home for the holidays and busy-ness, I didn't have time to eat a lot so have had low points which is NOT good because can injure the metabolism.

Rode the new light rail and took photos. Like the look. :)

Found out I have been made a "poster child" for weight loss on one of the message areas.

Pretty cool.